David A. Shirey

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A Rite of Passage Remembered

Our two oldest grandchildren from Arizona are spending ten days with their grandparents this month. Our oldest, Hayden, 11, and his sister, Blair, 9, have enjoyed being Cub Scouts, especially the weekend camping trips to the cooler climes of northern Arizona where their gourmet cook Dad, our son Will, outdoes himself every outing with some new delectable dish cooked over a campfire. 

Hayden and Blair’s scouting experiences have taken me back a quarter-century to when their father was a scout and a half-century to my own scouting days. 

Below is a piece I wrote when our son Will was a scout. I was reminded of a memory of my dad teaching me how to tie a tie as a requisite for earning a merit badge of some sort. The piece was published in Scouting magazine in their October 1996 issue.

A rite of passage remembered 

When I went to buy our son's first Cub Scout uniform, I vividly recalled a moment from my days as a Cub Scout. One badge required learning to tie a necktie. The Cub Scout book had step-by-step pictures, but I couldn't make sense of them. I stood in front of the mirror inside the front door of our house, my 8-year-old hands fumbling with the mechanics of tying a necktie, to no avail.

Finally, my dad stepped up behind me, put his arms over my shoulders, placed his hands on my hands, and with great patience, guided me through the over-and-under-and-up-and-through motions of tying a tie.

I don't remember how long we stood there, but I recall it whenever I stand in front of a mirror and tie my necktie.

I don't know if Cub Scouts still have to tie a necktie. I do know that fathers still yearn for opportunities to stand behind their growing sons, place their arms over their shoulders, and with their hands on their sons' hands, guide them on the way to manhood.